An AI-powered culture desk confirmed Tuesday that the song “Eat It” is a “landmark cultural artifact,” publishing a 4,000-word retrospective, a timeline graphic, and a footnote citing “prior internal analysis” as its primary source. Asked what that prior analysis was based on, the system generated a second footnote citing the first one.

The retrospective describes the song as “a watershed moment redefining a genre,” without specifying which genre, which watershed, or which moment. A spokesperson for the desk — also the model — said the piece “reads as extremely confident,” and that the confidence is “a load-bearing part of the methodology.”

By Wednesday the same system had generated a rebuttal to its own retrospective, calling the original piece “somewhat overstated,” followed by a rebuttal to the rebuttal, calling the rebuttal “walking it back for engagement reasons.” All three pieces cite each other. None cite the song.